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I avoid the L-word entirely these days. I'd rather be in the moment with someone and say specifiy how the person makes me feel than cop out by uttering a vague "I you. I'd like us to move in together. I want it to be this way every day. I think we should get engaged. I want to live with you. The listener can consider this and respond frankly. There is no awkward expectation that the listener glibly say, "I you too! Good for you that you have steady and stable employment.
Regarding your situation, as a paralegal I'll help a bit.
CA is a community property state. While you rent with a m-to-m agreement, you'll still have the items purchased during the 19 years to divide furniture, appliances, music, cars. If you're absolutely certain there is no saving the marriage, you can file for divorce in CA fairly easily just at your local courthouse.
It's a Dissolution of Marriage.
Your kid is 18 and CA does not have statutes for parental payment of education for post-secondary schooling. That means that unless you or he discuss legally who pay for the year-olds college, the kid could be screwed. Alimony could definitely be a concern. You've been married longer than years so it's considered a term marriage and he can easily make the case that he's unemployed and reliant upon your income for assistance.
Can he work? You say so, but how has he been displaced? That would be taken into as well as where each of you would live other states are cheaper than CA. Shame that the two of you aren't speaking because Mediation is far easier and less costly than Divorce.
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But I can't say I'm complaining with this gorgeous weather we are having.
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Since my his ex split up, she s me frequently, asking me to watch my granddaughters. She rarely picks them up when promised even on finals weekand on several occasions, I learned later that a couple of those times, she wasn't even working. I can count on one hand the of times I imposed on my folks, my in-laws, or anyone, to babysit for my 3 or to keep them overnight.
It just never occurred to me to use people that way. One of my first orders of business upon moving to a new town was to find and interview quality babysitters. And I paid them well for their services. OTOH, she's burning out her family friends in an ad hoc approach. The conundrum: They're my grandchildren and I them dearly. My answer: A person who is working hard in a Master's program, who subsists on student loans, because it takes a good hours of research and study outside of the classroom to maintain a good GPA.
If I felt I could handle the extra pressure, I would be working and earning a paycheck. I know my limitations. I the kiddos, but a couple of visits a week is all I can manage. Lately, she's a bottomless pit of need, and I'm on overload.
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